dear ptsd; will I ever come home

dear ptsd; will I ever come home

the wounds I bear cannot be seen on my body
telltale signs – road maps to show the way
invisible to passerby or friend

flashbacks and nightmares
left UN-shared
so few understand

in distant places my eyes grew distant
taught to kill but not to feel,
left alone to carry the pain – sentence LIFE

dreams once a refuge
now filled with pain
nightmares fill my mind

look at me, open your eyes…can’t you see you are unable to see inside this empty shell
I stand before you unable to feel or heal
 
the war ended for all but the soldier
soldier’s reward – SCREAMS and NIGHTMARES
waking up on top of soaked sheets

doctors spewing hollow words
dispensing headaches
unable to remove the smell of blood and mud – the SCREAMS