He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother

“I don't believe an accident of birth makes people sisters or brothers. It makes them siblings, gives them mutuality of parentage. Sisterhood and brotherhood is a condition people have to work at.” – Maya Angelou

If you are lucky in life, you get to have a real brother. This is no reflection on my actual siblings whoI grew up with, but with the exception of my Brother Little Mac, I didn’t find out what “brother” really meant till later in life. (Little Mac is the guy trying to escape in the above picture.)  We spent nearly four years together on the submarine, USS San Francisco (SSN 711). Don’t get me wrong, blood family will always be blood.

But brotherhood means a lot more to me now. A brother is someone who calls or writes an email without you sending one first. He is the one who laughs at your corny jokes but pokes you for them from time to time. During those difficult times in your life, a brother never feels awkward about reaching out to you and keeping your spirits up. He gives you the seat of honor at his house, looks forward to sharing a special drink that you only have on certain occasions, and never fails to let you know that he loves you (even when you don’t feel like someone worth loving).

A sibling is someone who remembers every stupid thing you ever did growing up and brings it up at the annual family gathering. A brother only remembers the cool stuff you did and is proud of those days. Sibling are still concerned about the birth order and how much of a leader they should be as they get older. A brother remembers that all of us are equal in God’s eyes and respects you for your rightful place. A sibling will show up at your bedside when you are sick because he should; a brother does it because he really wants to be there.

Brothers in bunk beds  Like most people, I have learned this in stages. As a kid, I slept in a bedroom with three siblings. We had bunk beds which made it easy for me to transition to boot camp when I graduated from high school. We were just far enough apart in age not to be in the same schools at the same time. Our “shared” experiences were limited to some family events and some church things. I do remember there seemed to be a lot of fighting. (Below photo, the MacPherson family.)

We all had our own experiences growing up except for the time I ran away from home and Little Mac followed. I yelled at him for a while to go home, but he decided to follow me anyway. I can’t remember how old we were, but I do remember he was not in school yet. The end result was that we made it about 13 miles before giving up and calling home. Mom was madder then heck, and I think she broke her wooden spoon on my back side. Recognizing the futility of trying to run away before I could actually drive or earn a living delayed my actual escape until the Navy.

Brothers in boot camp  My first real taste of brotherhood was in boot camp. You suddenly find yourself in a very strange environment, and they strip away all of the things that made you comfortable. In a short period of time, though, you find that in your shared experience, you learn to depend on each other. The hit song on the radio that played all summer in the barracks was “Lean on Me.” I still get nostalgic when I hear that song. By graduation, you feel like all of you combined could beat the entire enemy fleet with no effort. Youth, ego, and the introduction to your first real sets of brothers, gives you a feeling of being bulletproof. It doesn’t last long.

Brothers on boats  “A” school ( a sailor’s technical rating school)and submarine school are not as focused on making new brothers. Even the ones who you went to boot camp with drift to other schools, and the camaraderie goes on a hiatus. When you get to the boat, you are a non-qual nub. Reporting on board the USS George Washington (SSBN 598), I found out that there are few things more worthless than a non-qual. Fortunately for me, I was not the only new , I had a lot of men with whom I would grow as Dolphin Brothers. We forged our friendships and became brothers by sharing our misery, sharing our hard and very long days, and sharing our victories.

January 21, 1961, marked completion of the George-fish’s first ballistic missile patrol. This historic patrol was a game changer in the Cold War; it also marked the beginning of patrols that were vastly harder to monitor by either side.GW spent 66 days at sea submerged and accomplished her mission. She would continue to do so for another 54 patrols. I will go to my grave believing that the work of her crews helped to prevent the world from spiraling out of control. It also forged a lot of brotherhood through the years. (The link will take you to some rare footage of the GW, ballistic missile patrol.) http://ia600407.us.archive.org/30/items/1960-11-17_Nuclear_Navy/1960-11-17_Nuclear_Navy_512kb.mp4

I had many other opportunities to find and make “brothers” along the way. I will forever be indebted to their help and comradeship as we all made our way through the years.

Brothers in life  Although not as common, it is still possible to develop a brotherhood with people you meet along the way. I have been blessed to have those brothers in my life. The thing is, I don’t need to name the ones who fit that role because they are reading this and smiling. I can’t begin to tell you how grateful I am to each of you for enriching my life. I hope you can say the same.

USE this cutline below LAST Photo: Outlaw Brothers: Mister Mac, aka Bob MacPherson (with beard) and brother-in-law, Arthur W. Anderson, Jr.